Forgiving and Forgiven

This is one of the most important subjects we can go to, I believe: forgiving others and being forgiven. You see, I don't think the words we've used to talk about forgiveness are actually all that accurate. We decide that to really forgive someone you may somehow have to be back in relationship with that person or pretend that it never happened. These are lies.

I think forgiveness is different with each person and each case. What I know I needed to do in my scenario may look very different than what you need to do for yourself. Forgiveness takes time in some cases and sometimes that means it's not healthy for either one of you to be in contact again. Forgiveness is detaching yourself from any hold or "right" you think you have to hold something against another person. Maybe you believe someone should have been at a party you held and never showed. Maybe someone hurt you in a much deeper and broader fashion. And truly, this person may never even be sorry, but that doesn't matter. I could go into explanations and reasons as to why people make those choices, but our focus is on us and how we are going to handle this resplendent, hurried life that we have. Let's slow it all down. 

You guys, we're bigger than all this. This is tearing us apart. It really is. Not only are we hurting each other so very big, but we're hurting ourselves. Deeply. "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Have you ever walked through real, true forgiveness for someone? It's freedom. It goes against everything our gut tells us, but we are released from the power they had over us as soon as we cut the strings. The balloon can only fly away if you let it go, right? 

And maybe the biggest crime we commit is lack of forgiveness for ourselves. Wow. We've got to stop this. What good is it doing anyone? The best gift you can give anyone, including the ones you've hurt, is to let go and move forward. Taking that one step forward toward a new way of living is astronomical. It's change. Be new. Be reformed. Does that mean they'll forgive you? No. Maybe not. But that's not yours to carry. You're simply responsible for how you choose to live and what you're going to do from here. And guess what! You'll mess up again. And guess what! That's okay. 

We're so hard on one another which in turn makes us hard on ourselves. It's killing our relationships. Just look at politics. People who we love dearest become our enemies because they don't think like we think they should think. How is this the case? Since when has the bid ever been to make sure to surround yourselves only with people who think and act like you? It hasn't. And it's not healthy. The engaging and fascinating things in life often come from two very polar beliefs deciding to work together. Can you imagine what this could produce? 

So this past weekend a very favorite, bonny and wise woman (who is 81) gave a prayer to me regarding forgiveness. I'm going to challenge you this week. Go somewhere quiet, be still, listen for the most hurting place inside, and go there. Take a few minutes and just release the person or persons attached to that pain. You guys, there are some people that I'm saying this prayer about daily. I refuse to let it keep me, to let it prevent me from moving higher and onward. And maybe some of you are having a little difficulty with the whole notion of prayer. Prayer is the very simple and beautiful task of talking to the delightful, magnificent power of this earth. It's a conversation. It's transparent. Give a whirl. The first time I said this prayer I was light. 

Prayer of Forgiveness

• I cut myself loose from your power to hurt or victimize me any longer.
• I release you into the merciful and righteous care of Almighty God.
• I declare myself loosed from the grip of my unforgiveness. 
• I no longer hold you bound to what I felt was owed to me. 
• I release all of my judgment of your actions and intent into the hands of the Righteous Judge who hears and answers all of my prayers. 
• As an act of my free will I repent of all my judgments against you and place myself squarely into the hand of our merciful God who sees the intent of all men's hearts. 
• May blessings over take you and may your spirit, soul, and body be cleansed and washed clean of all accountability to me. 

So these words might sound religious to you. But they're not. Think about what each confession is saying. It's lovely, and it's freedom, you guys. Wishing the best for someone who has hurt you or is continuing to hurt you is sometimes the most painful one, but it's freedom. 

With all the absolute love and goodness to you, I wish you a happy weekend, friends, and the ability to break free and trust the good. Many thanks for tuning in. 

x Keely

Photo Credit: Halley bear