Whole-Hearted Values
I've been thinking a lot about where I've been in "divided loyalty." We typically picture loyalty as toward people, business, and things of that nature. But rarely do we consider our loyalty to our values.
I'm a person who places a great deal of importance on loyalty. If you aren't the same to me as you are about me, it is very hurtful. Loyalty makes me feel loved. Now, don't confused loyalty with taking on my battles. I don't mean you have to fight for me. I just mean I want whole-heartedness, rather than someone who might flip the script on me as soon as I'm gone. And if you're one of my people, I will be eternally loyal to you. There have only been a handful of times this has switched off.
When I started seeing how easily I was wavering in my loyalty to my values, it was concerning to me. It wasn't like I had been making life-altering loyalty choices, although I have, but it was every day things. Things that maybe somehow, somewhere I picked up and agreed to carry shame about. Things that were not values to anyone else, so I thought maybe I was wrong. Even in things that like fear, which is not a value of mine, that I have agreed with.
I believe in things like love, hope, joy, faith, risk, and grace. These are things I value. At times, I felt myself agreeing with hate, despair, sadness, doubt, comfort, and harshness. My loyalty was divided. In some situations, I rejoiced and in others neglected. I had somehow decided it was okay to split, rather than be whole-hearted.
That's when I realized if I can't be whole-hearted about my values, then I really can't ever be whole-hearted--even if I feel like I am. If I can't love the guy that cut me off, I can't fully love my little girl. If I can't hope for a situation to turn around, I can't really offer hope to my friend who's in the middle of despair. Because if I am not whole-hearted in everything I do, it is impossible to be whole-hearted. You wouldn't think that would be so much more obvious.
So I'm choosing whole-heartedness, even when I don't feel it. I'm choosing love, hope, joy, faith, risk, grace, and all of my other values when I don't really want to. I want to be whole-hearted because if I can't be it, I can't receive it.
Photo Story: So maybe you remember from another post that my little one and I watched the metamorphosis process. Recently, we watched our chrysalides become butterflies. It was beautiful. We were able to release them during a beautiful and warm week in Winter, which we found miraculous (and honestly, I had prayed for this). This gave time for these beauties to seek shelter. In my eagerness to watch the process, I ordered the caterpillars, and I didn't consider the ramifications of releasing butterflies in the dead of winter. *palm-to-forehead* If you haven't watched this process, wait until it's a little warmer, and do it. My littles and I jumped out of bed every day to see the process. It was truly moving. No hidden meaning here. But you can find them right here:
x Keely
