Finding Resolve
I have been on quite the journey of finding healing and forgiveness for myself and for others, especially these past couple of years. I'm finding that the very key to true forgiveness is letting go.
It's contrary to what actually feels right. We start to believe that we're the only ones who can bring true justice. And if we loosen our grip for one second, we'll lose all control. Which is the problem. We didn't need to be in control anyway. And we're also exhausted.
Have you noticed how many of us are tired these days? We're all walking around weary. No matter what we do, no matter how much we sleep, we can't catch up.
Picture yourself holding onto something as tight as you can, unwilling to let go. At first, you have all the strength you need to hang on, but you wear out quickly. You've used all of your strength near the beginning and you're completely aware that you're not holding on like you used to. The grip you have now is inefficient and really just causes problems. Whenever you finally let go, the relief scatters all over your body.
This is where I've been. I've been hanging on for dear life to one area of my life while trying to effectively live life in other areas (unsuccessfully).
The past two weeks I've come to edge of my grip. I honestly couldn't hold on anymore. My hand was giving out, my arm was fatigued. So I just let go. I said my fears out loud. I cried some tears. But then I let go and in turn I was filled with trust and with love. I had trust that everything really will work out, and most importantly, I begin to develop a love toward the problem that previously there just wasn't room for. And the fear left.
And then I found resolve. All of those thoughts that had consumed me and I felt responsible for started to get resolved. Some in the way that there was physical resolution. There was also resolution inside of me.
If you're finding yourself gripped with fear, try letting go for a while. You're not meant to live life tired. You're not meant to live life frozen in fear. You're meant to live life free. And the way to live your life free is to free your grip, which in turn leaves your hands free to receive.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself." - Paulo Coelho
Photo Story: My little one has been praying for snow all Winter. She would talk about how much she wants snow, so we'd say a little prayer asking God to bring her snow. This Winter has been exceptionally warm, so I wasn't sure that we'd see snow this year. A few days ago it started to snow pretty hard but didn't stick (which left her crying whenever it stopped). Yesterday morning she woke up to just enough snow on the ground to build a small snowman, make a snow cone, and have a snowball fight. After all of our play, she said, "It's a good day for a walk, isn't it, Mom?" So we did. And it was.
x Keely
