Peering In: Chelsea Gilliam
Peering In is a section of the blog where guest writers come to share their voice.
Chelsea Gilliam is a beautiful human that I get to call a long-distance/virtual friend. She's amazing. She has one of the most compassionate hearts I've ever seen, and she knows how to to turn that compassion into action. It's admirable. Side note: She's a kick ass dancer. Seriously. Nonetheless, welcome this beautiful psychologist to our blog today to share her inspiring suggestions for a life on a much more peaceful journey.
3 Suggestions for Purposeful Living
Let's be honest for a moment (whatever a moment is to you) and recognize that the world many of us live in is far too busy for our bodies to handle. Technology has created a communication and information dissemination superhighway. This simply means that we are far too reachable for requests. At any given moment, we have an email, a deadline, a text, a tweet, and a Facebook message to reply to, and suddenly, there is not time or space for our own novel thoughts. We try to multitask, but multitasking is simply a rationalization for busy people. We can only do one thing at any given moment and shuffling quickly between tasks means we do a shitty job on a bunch of different tasks. Let me ask you- do you even know who you are anymore?
So, it's Monday Funday, and I have completely lost myself to obligations. My brain is racing. My leg is shaking (caffeine and anxiety). I am breathing in the top half of my lungs and I. CAN'T. MAKE. IT. STOP. Have you been here? This is my big sign that it is time for mindfulness in my day. I have been practicing mindfulness for years, but it occasionally finds itself dusty on my self-improvement shelf (why is that shelf always so dusty?) It's a great way to reduce or ease the effects of anxiety, depression, chronic pain...and the desire to punch someone in the face (thank you, year 2016). So, it's a good, free medicine. You owe it to yourself. I owe it to myself. So, here are three things I do to have a more mindful, self-loving life.
1. Do routine behaviors with intentionality.
It is easy to let routine daily tasks be completed on autopilot. I try to practice intentionality to prevent that pesky plane from driving itself. When I meet someone, I smile at them and try to notice one thing about them others might not notice (shoes, pain, eyes, anxiety, necklace). When I go through a door, I complete a feelings check and consider what walking through it will mean for the next few moments. When I eat, I try to taste and smell my food. When I shower, I take note of the way the water feels running over my body. When I listen to music, I hear the spoken and unspoken story. I count my breaths when I feel nervous, and I feel life fill my body with each inhale. Intentionality can be done anywhere at any moment. So, make those moments last because tomorrow isn't here yet and the only time we are guaranteed is right now.
The trouble is, you think you have time. -Buddha
2. Carpe Diem
As a Western Society, we tend to use "selfish" as an insult. I say, humans are inherently selfish. Why do we ask them to be anything other than what they are? If we can't take selfishness out of our person, we have to embrace it or hide it. I choose to embrace it. In turn, I have become increasingly more confident with my selfish decisions. I seize moments that give me pleasure whether it be a conversation, a dance, an ice cream, a hug, a moment to myself, or a day off with my kids. I keep people in my life that give it meaning, and I do not waste my moments on people that don't appreciate the value of that moment. Early on, this decision alienated me. I did not have the skills or the confidence to make a life of this value. As I have aged, however, this decision has enriched my days. I often wonder what my existence would be like if I had behaved.
There is no passion to be found settling for a life that is less than one you are capable of living. -Nelson Mandela
3. Meet new people--and listen.
I purposely place myself in situations where I meet new people. (This is a must if you practice suggestion #2). This task would be so much easier if I had a lifetime prescription of Ativan, but alas--I do not. So, I take deep, mindful breaths and do uncomfortable things for the sake of learning more about myself and those around me. If you hear nothing else, hear this--EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS HAD EXPERIENCES THAT CHANGED WHO THEY WERE. Practice listening! Practice hearing! I have increased my understanding of community and humankind by hearing courage, strength, and love from those around me. Invite someone over for dinner. Sit down next to a co-worker. Give water to a stranger on the street corner and ask, "How's your life?" I think you will be surprised and who you find in everyday people.
1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas--and I had the privilege of meeting you.
Chelsea Gilliam
